Guanubian's Profile

Gender: Male Age: 47 Last Activity: 124 month(s) ago Location: Brooklyn, New York Country: United States Guanubian's Full Profile

Guanubian's Kennel

Chester Cat, Junkyard Cat Male Peaches Cat, Flying Wallenda Female Skittles Cat, North American Bandy-Legged Oaf Male

Name Skittles Nickname Skittles Paradiddles Species Cat Breed North American Bandy-Legged Oaf Pet Clubs: Tuxedos unite Cuddle Bugs Gender Male Hometown BROOKLYN Country United States Zipcode 11215 Birthdate 2002-08-03 Height 7 inches Weight 11 pounds Favorite Activity Sitting on my owner's face, French-kissing his ear Favorite Park Prospect Park Favorite Food Anything, anything at all Favorite Treat Pit'r Pats Favorite Toy Chester's scruff Favorite Shows Animal Cops, Houston Favorite Music Early French masterpieces of Integral Serialism Favorite Movies Buttman in Budapest Best Trick Jumping for thrown toys as high as I can, without regard for where I might land. Worst Trick French-kissing my owner's ear until I am physically made to stop. Favorite Moments Those crisp, cold twilight minutes in which my internal cesium clock tells me it's time to suffocate my owner until he rises to feed me. Embarassing Moments I'm very scrappy, and act very tough. One day, though, my owner called my bluff. He stared at me maniacally, and did the gul-wiggle, I'm-going-to-pounce dance. When he pretended to pounce, I hunched and cried pathetically. Likes eating, kissing, gnawing, making war cries, being cradled like a baby, smashing my crushed-whisker pate against your lips, The Naughty Cat Dance, flopping around oafishly in the bed, pawing at your face like a blind person with overlong claws extended Dislikes When Chester dares to inhabit Scratch Castle's cup. My First Day Home Chester did not fall in love with me quickly. In fact, he literally barked at me, and did other things my owner didn't realize were part of the cat repertoire. I had to be confined to a separate room, and after some time of this, I peed on the door. Awards Sweetest Baby Award, 2005 Bio Like my womb-mate Peaches, I was born in a squalid shack to a drunken and drugged woman. Except, by the time I left, it had become a crackhouse lorded over by an abusive boyfriend. I was rescued from its basement by my owner. About Me Give me food. Right fucking now. I will return your kindness with vomit. Fucketh with me neither. (click a thumbnail to enlarge)

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