Owner: Guanubian
Guanubian's Profile
Gender: | Male |
Age: | 45 |
Last Activity: | 96 month(s) ago |
Location: | Brooklyn, New York |
Country: | United States |
Guanubian's Full Profile |
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Guanubian's Kennel
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Chester
Cat, Junkyard Cat
Male
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Peaches
Cat, Flying Wallenda
Female
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Skittles
Cat, North American Bandy-Legged Oaf
Male
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Pet: Skittles
Name | Skittles |
Nickname | Skittles Paradiddles |
Species | Cat |
Breed | North American Bandy-Legged Oaf |
Pet Clubs: |
Tuxedos unite
Cuddle Bugs
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Gender | Male |
Hometown | BROOKLYN |
Country | United States |
Zipcode | 11215 |
Birthdate | 2002-08-03 |
Height | 7 inches |
Weight | 11 pounds |
Favorite Activity | Sitting on my owner's face, French-kissing his ear |
Favorite Park | Prospect Park |
Favorite Food | Anything, anything at all |
Favorite Treat | Pit'r Pats |
Favorite Toy | Chester's scruff |
Favorite Shows | Animal Cops, Houston |
Favorite Music | Early French masterpieces of Integral Serialism |
Favorite Movies | Buttman in Budapest |
Best Trick | Jumping for thrown toys as high as I can, without regard for where I might land. |
Worst Trick | French-kissing my owner's ear until I am physically made to stop. |
Favorite Moments | Those crisp, cold twilight minutes in which my internal cesium clock tells me it's time to suffocate my owner until he rises to feed me. |
Embarassing Moments | I'm very scrappy, and act very tough. One day, though, my owner called my bluff. He stared at me maniacally, and did the gul-wiggle, I'm-going-to-pounce dance. When he pretended to pounce, I hunched and cried pathetically. |
Likes | eating, kissing, gnawing, making war cries, being cradled like a baby, smashing my crushed-whisker pate against your lips, The Naughty Cat Dance, flopping around oafishly in the bed, pawing at your face like a blind person with overlong claws extended |
Dislikes | When Chester dares to inhabit Scratch Castle's cup. |
My First Day Home | Chester did not fall in love with me quickly. In fact, he literally barked at me, and did other things my owner didn't realize were part of the cat repertoire. I had to be confined to a separate room, and after some time of this, I peed on the door. |
Awards | Sweetest Baby Award, 2005 |
Bio | Like my womb-mate Peaches, I was born in a squalid shack to a drunken and drugged woman. Except, by the time I left, it had become a crackhouse lorded over by an abusive boyfriend. I was rescued from its basement by my owner. |
About Me | Give me food. Right fucking now. I will return your kindness with vomit. |
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Fucketh with me neither.

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Skittles's Statistics
On Cool Lists: | 4 |
Pats Received: | 1 |
Votes this week: | 0 Vote(s) |
Votes this month: | 0 Vote(s) |
Profile Views: | 4886 |
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Skittles's Friends
Skittles's Cool List
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